Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
