Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
