Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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