I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
