she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
