Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
