NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
