what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
