Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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