Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
