why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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