I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
