Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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