it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
