Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
