Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
