the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
