so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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