i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Enjoy the penises
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
