every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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