Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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