are you still at the devil's house?
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
