Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
