he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
