Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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