There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
