I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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