I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
