hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
