why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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