Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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