Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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