so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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