I think scott just propositioned me for sex
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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