I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
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