hotel room ftw
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
