Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Me too!
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
