I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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