Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
