At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
