he told me I talked like a deaf person
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
