I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
