All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
