You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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