Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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