I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
