Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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