Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
