But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
