guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
