I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
