so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
