Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
