She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
