They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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